Quest(ion)ing

Images of Immensity

2010-06-11T18:39:00.004-05:00

The Kolb Studio on the Rim has an exhibit going of Canyon Magic, oils and watercolors of the canyon from the early 20th century. Glorious. And heartening.

I have been staring at the immensity of the canyon trying to figure out how to even approach painting it. Now I have a clue.

It's deliciously cool today, cloudy and a few drops of rain with intermittent brilliance.

A Brief Dip into the Canyon

2010-06-10T18:35:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I hiked a small section of Bright Angel Trail, down into the Canyon. I got to the 1 1/2 mile rest point, where it was 90 in the shade, and decided that was far enough. Down was fairly easy. Up was murder. Took me 50 minutes down and 2 1/2 hours up. Heat and I really don't get along. Phantom Ranch will have to wait. (Pictures tomorrow; I left the camera in the car & don't feel like retrieving it.)

A few days ago I met D & J, a couple of full-time RVers who camped near me for the past 3 nights. They are the sweetest people; we swapped books we were done with, and exchanged stories of the road. They fed me dinner (I love it when people feed me) and told me about amazon.com's seasonal camper work, Oct - Dec, in 3 different states. They pay for your campsite with full hookups. The pay is probably standard for the work (stocking, packing, receiving) which is to say lousy, but I find the idea intriguing. A new form of migrant work. More stories. I put in an app; who knows if anything will come of it. D & J took off today, but I hope I run into them again.

Spawn of Mothra

2010-06-07T15:27:00.002-05:00

The Spawn of Mothra

Sneak into my home at night

and bounce off the walls.

Every night 2 or three moths (1" or larger) decide that my trailer is the place to be. Just as I am falling asleep, they start to flutter, thunking into the walls, dive bombing my face, then hiding in niches. The first 3 nights, I was kind and made the effort to capture them and throw them out the door. They learned, and are now harder to catch. No more Ms. Nice Camper. I have a roll of paper towels and I know how to use it.

More Hiking on the Rim

2010-06-06T17:16:00.003-05:00

Didn't make it all the way that day; my foot hurt too much* and I picked up a bus at Mohave Pt. 4.8 miles, on hilly rocky terrain, in upper 80s, at 7000 ft. I start to wilt at 80. Phantom Ranch was 105. I am not even trying it this trip. Maybe late Sept...

I rested a day, then tried it again, starting in the morning and going from the Village Transfer Pt to Hermit's Rest, cleverly keeping the sun at my back (mostly).

Achieved Hermit's Rest

8 miles along the South Rim

Feet are now on strike.

It took 4 hrs, which was my best case scenario pace for that terrain, so I am pleased, though fried. My legs are no longer pasty white - more of a pale beige. And my elbows are remarkably brown (for me).

*I knocked a rock into my right foot a week ago, gashing it a bit and bruising the bone, I think. It starts to ache after a couple of miles, but is getting better.

First Hike Along the South Rim

2010-06-04T14:38:00.006-05:00

I hiked along the rim yesterday, from the Hermit’s Rest Transfer Point to Mohave Point and back. About 4.6 miles rt.

This stamina thing clearly needs work.

There are better views here than farther east.

From Hopi Point:

From Grand Canyon June 2010

A Glimpse of the Colorado River:

From Grand Canyon June 2010

Saw my first California Condor, wheeling over the Rim.

I called a couple of people from the rim - cell phones work there - and even managed to send one a picture taken with the iphone. That was fun.

Stumbled home in exhaustion, ate my big dinner of mashed potatoes, canned salmon, and broccoli, and passed out.

Still tired this morning, but I did get moving, and will take the bus to Hermit’s Rest and hike back in as far as I can - I hope the whole 8 miles, but there are a couple of bus stops along the way if I need them. The Shuttle Bus system here is most useful, and very well designed.

Being

2010-06-03T18:48:00.007-05:00

I don't want my life back anymore.

For a long time, I did.

I don't want my life forward, either.

For a long time, I thought that I did.

I want my life now.

And that I have already.

I am not looking for anything anymore.

The message in the vortex on Cathedral Rock has it:

From Sedona May 2010

Search No More

I might change the title of this blog to "From Questioning to Being".

To the Grand Canyon

2010-06-02T16:20:00.006-05:00

I have been happier the last two weeks in Sedona than anywhere else in my travels. When I left for the Grand Canyon a few days ago, stopping in Flagstaff to swap my annoying solar panel for some jewelry, and stock up on food, I soon began to feel that vague unease, and then near-panic that sometimes takes me over. It is so easy to feel grounded, centered in Sedona - something about the rocks, and the quality of the sunlight there.

Once I got to Sunset Crater and Wupatki Monument and hiked a while, taking many pictures of the ruins, I felt better. I camped in forest land adjacent to the monument, on black cinders in which my trailer left deep ruts. Once again, four-wheel drive is my friend.

But when I got to the Grand Canyon, I was uneasy again and could barely think. My first glimpse of the canyon from Desert View was hazy - nice, but not inspiring. I have seen so many places with similar features, though none so vast. (I got over this by the next day, and can't get enough of it now.)

From Grand Canyon June 2010

Getting practical, I found the spot in the Kaibab National Forest where I could camp for free (between Moran Pt. And Grandview Pt., on the Arizona Trail), and unhooked the trailer. It is the most isolated spot I have yet camped, in a clearing amidst Ponderosa pines, far enough off the forest road that you cannot see the trailer. Only one car has tried to follow the track from the forest road (there are several other disbursed campsites here), and it turned around before it got to my trailer.

The wind ruffles the trees gently most of the time; sunlight flickers on the needles continuously. And it is less than a mile from the park boundary, less than 2 miles from the canyon itself, though 12 miles from Grand Canyon Village.

And in this lovely peaceful place, unease still wells up. Not from the place, just from inside. Much of this is the unease of the unfamiliar, especially after having spent 2 weeks in the same place in Sedona, where I quickly found everything I needed and more than I expected. I breathed consciously, listened to Tolle, and lay under the trees to read the park newspaper and study the maps. Feeling more grounded, I went for an orientation drive.

Maps are all very well, but the map is not the territory. There is much construction around the VIllage and the Visitor Center, and the road signage leaves much to be desired. I drove in circles a lot, and couldn’t find the supposed wifi spot, but finally found the other places I wanted. I found a spigot where I can fill my water jugs, checked out the general store and gift shops, and then went to the town of Tusayan (8 miles South of the Village) to the IMAX movie on the Grand Canyon. Way cool movie. Lots of vertigo shots.

Returning to the Park, I looked for the Bright Angel Lodge to inquire about tours and waiting lists. More driving in circles and finding that the map is really not the territory. Feeling determined, I persisted, and eventually found the Lodge, and parking by the train track.
There I had a nice chat about hikes with the guy behind the desk who turned out to be from Duluth. Small world. I discovered that the mule trip to Phantom Ranch was way out of my budget, but that getting a hiking cancellation for a dorm was possible, if I showed up at 5am to get on the waiting list for the day after, on which I would have to show up at 6:30am to see if my name was called.

This seemed quite reasonable to me (to weed out the casual seeker), and much more affordable. I decided to wait a few days, though, and see how I acclimate to hiking here. We are at 7000 ft, and it is a 6-mile hike down (no water available until the bottom), and a 7.7-mile hike up (different path, with water available at several rest stops). The elevation change is 4620 ft. Given how I pant when going uphill at all, I am not sure I can do 7.7 miles up in one day. And yesterday it was 100 degrees down at the bottom, though only in the 70s up at the Rim.

On the way back to camp, I stopped at Grandview Point to watch the sunset, climbing down to the edge to dangle my legs over the side.

From Grand Canyon June 2010

Ravens were reveling in the thermals, eight of them gliding around and around, and the occasional cliff swallow swooped by. By the time the sun set I was shivering from the wind, and used the heat in my car on the way back to camp.

The next morning I studied the maps again, and this time the shuttle bus system made sense. I played forensic anthropologist around camp, finding large animal bones (is it still anthropology if the bones are non-human?). The first ones were bleached white, a leg, 3 vertebrae, a lower jay, but then I found a lower leg with the hoof and some fur still attached. Why are bleached bones aesthetically pleasing and furry ones disturbing? It was a deer, and most likely a cougar kill. There are signs on the road warning of a cougar in this area. I’m camped on a kill site! Cool.

My unease of the past few days now completely gone, I ventured out in search of the internet. I found it in the Park Headquarters, after several circles to find the correct parking lot. There is a small research library where you can sit inside, or outdoors in a courtyard. I caught up on reading blogs and felt wordy for the first time in almost a year - as you can see, very very wordy.

The plan is to keep up to date from now on, and gradually work in stories of the past year in between. We’ll see.

O Canada

2009-07-25T16:31:00.001-05:00

Wending my way through British Columbia

on the way to Alaska.

Not feeling talkative

but all's well.

Including the new brakes for the trailer

*sigh*

Afternoon in Santa Fe

2009-06-12T12:36:00.006-05:00

If one ignores the wrong turns

I made a bee-line

for the Georgia O'Keefe Museum.

Some pieces I had not seen before

though my favorite watercolor

of a train engine

was not in evidence.

Returning to the plaza (way too many cars there)

I passed the Art Museum

it's free on Friday nights, so I will return then.

(The curves of adobe remind me of Gaudi)

Browsed the nearly empty shops

too many going out of business

the streets crowded with cars

but lightly peopled

In search of a bakery

I stumbled instead

into a courtyard

where I found this:

a sculpture by Dwight Hume

(who just died this week, I discovered later, dammit)

A lovely talk with Daniel Bethune

the owner of Gallery Chartreuse

and this sweet service dog

and I floated back to my car in a daze of beauty.

Leaving town, I u-turned into a parking lot that advertised

long windshield crack repairs

an hour and a companionable conversation later

my windshield cracks

(courtesy of a large truck

and a sizeable chunk of gravel

a month ago)

are rebonded and smooth,

still visible, as I expected,

but no longer likely to expand or leak.

$40 well spent.

Back to Coronado Campground
to lie fallow in the rain

all the next day
absorbing wonders

and painting the wall

My backyard.

Relocation

2009-06-12T12:16:00.001-05:00

Manzano State Park is an hour away

from Albuquerque

on rough and winding roads

too far to commute

so I moved into the city.

One night at Walmart

noisy

smelly

sleep much interrupted

has relegated that option

to the bottom of the list.

Left early and parked outside

an art supply store

listening to my Open-Focus cd

while waiting for the store to open

so I could get a darker blue.

On my parents' recommendation

I took the Sandia Tramway

to the top of the world.

Spent a glorious morning

hiking the crest

ran into some old hams

at the Kiwanis hut

running antennae

trying to talk to New Zealand

10,000 ft up with clear lines of sight in all directions

makes for one tall antenna.

Coronado Campground

between ABQ & Santa Fe

expensive (by my standards)

at $18/night

has showers

and electricity

and cell service

though no wifi

and a hell of a view.

It will do

for my time here.

(I have yet to find a spot with the trifecta

power, wifi & cell service - two out of three is all I ever manage

if that)

The Coronado State Monument

next to the campground

offers an adobe workshop

this weekend

think I'll stick around

I love adobe

When the scalp is clean, the brain can breathe

2009-06-12T11:57:00.007-05:00

After the catwalk

I wandered on to Aquirre Spring

a National Forest campground

vault toilets

no water

large friendly Ponderosa pines

and a measure of stillness

I have begun to paint

the interior wall of Alicia for now

a colorful abstraction of my subconscious

it makes for good dreams.

(Pix eventually, when it is farther along)

Bosque del Apache Wildlife Refuge

(As always, you can click through the slideshows to larger versions at picasaweb)

At the end of a day of many small frustrations

- get mildly lost several times

(New Mexico signage is not optimal for me)

- can't camp at the Bosque

- the rest area is closed for paving

- no national forest camping near the city

- grimy and hot and tired

late in the day I aim for Manzano State Park

state parks have showers

hours on winding roads

arrive to back into one of the last two spots

dig holes to level trailer

and find

there are no showers.

*brief meltdown*

grit teeth

haul out the as yet unused Zodi

attempt to set up the cabana tent

lost the instructions

this can't be right

the pole can't bend that much

*shove tent under table, growling*

make dinner - mashed potatoes, tuna & broccoli

(instant mashed potatoes have come a long way)

consider watching a dvd but pass out instead, still grimy

Suprisingly good dreams prime the way

for a patient hour of untangling

adapting

and applying far more force than seems reasonable

to erect the tent

and achieve a shower.

That was a production.

But my hair is clean!

Antiseptic wipes only go so far...

Big Rocks

2009-06-07T15:42:00.006-05:00

(As always, click on a slideshow to see larger versions at PicasaWeb; also, sometimes the captions are out of sync with the images in the blog)

In the Gila Mountains. Visited the Gila Cliff Dwellings, so called, though the current theory leans to them being more of a sacred gathering place and/or community center.

Gila Hot Springs - my first bath since early February - hot springs in the moonlight - bliss

The Catwalk Recreation Area, in Whitewater Creek Canyon
Gold and silver were mined here; the original catwalk was giant pipes that brought water to the mining town; the workers used to have to go up the canyon crawling on top of them.

The Cheese Mountains of the Moon

2009-06-06T18:39:00.005-05:00

(As always, click on a slideshow to see larger versions at PicasaWeb; also, sometimes the captions are out of sync with the images in the blog)

Yay! Found wifi! The signal in the library in Las Cruces or somewhere around there (they're starting to blur; must keep better notes) crapped out on me. In Albuquerque now; much glorious scenery and internally productive time lately. New Mexico is indescribable. Here are some pix; more coming in a few days.

Sitting Bull Falls

an oasis

in the mountains

moss and diamond drops

and pools

bluer than blue

White Sands - pictures don't start to do it justice, and words even less so

this alien sahara in our midst

where we sled down sand

whiter than snow

get lost among ever-moving dunes

glaciers of dust

ringed by far-off mountains

and clouds

trudge through the drifts

to the source of the whiteness

let it scour skin

(let - ha! try to stop it)

and abrade reason

until there is only

mound upon cloud upon mound

curves

ridges

the occasional reptile

if I lay down here

how long would it take

to make me disappear?

a day

or less

but I stay on the surface

sliding down in my purple saucer

kin to the little Aga in Wallace and Grommit

that always wanted to ski

and finally did

on the cheese mountains of the moon.

this place was magic

like none I have seen so far

I will come back

with a polarizing filter

and tripod

and twilight

or dawn

but for now, this is a pallid reflection of what I saw:

Faery lands forlorn

2009-05-26T16:53:00.003-05:00

(As always, click on a slideshow to see larger versions at PicasaWeb; also, sometimes the captions are out of sync with the images in the blog)

Yikes, it has been a while... Internally productive time at Big Bend, and mostly fallow time since. I have passed though Marfa, Ft. Davis, Guadalupe Mountain National Park, and Carlsbad, and am now wandering New Mexico.

I haven't felt like writing much, but if a picture is worth a thousand words, here are several novels:

Big Bend - Nugent Mountain and Pine Canyon

Big Bend - Chisos Basin

Big Bend - West Loop

Big Bend - Grapevine Hills

Big Bend - Candelilla

Fort Davis

Guadalupe Mountains

Carlsbad

A Taste of Southwest Texas

2009-05-04T14:06:00.003-05:00

There's wifi at Big Bend (no cell service, though)! Just up at the Lodge in the mountains, and I'll be in primitive sites the rest of the time, but here are a few photos to tide you over:

Not Cranky

2009-04-30T10:44:00.002-05:00

because my car is - new $200 battery good. A last bit of laundry and I'm off. I hope.

Cranky

2009-04-29T14:27:00.004-05:00

Because my car isn't. Cranking, that is. Dead battery. Grr. It's only 7 months old. But I have let it run down three times including last night, when I apparently left the light on in the trailer after packing. And that will pretty much kill it. Which is probably why it won't take a jump from my battery starter.

(I haven't left K's house yet, so no worries that I'm stranded on the road somewhere.)

So I need a new battery. AAA would probably bring (sell) me one, but not the top of the line super expensive extreme usage one I've now decided I need, given the rough roads, trailer, and various electronic devices that I keep charging from the car - laptop, iphone, ipod. I'm looking at the Diehard Platinum, since it seems to get good reviews from users and I can get it at Sears. Once K gets home from the vet and can give me a ride...

So much for my tearful farewells and grand and glorious exit. I suck at letting go of things.

On the bright side, I got an oil change yesterday and Monday had a proportional brake controller installed in the car to run the trailer brakes when the car brakes. It's awesome, braking going downhill with the trailer feels much more secure.

So now I get a little more puppy time with my Bessame.

Shunpiking West

2009-04-29T10:51:00.004-05:00

Heading west today, shunpiking as much as feasible. Shunpiking is my new word, traveling by avoiding freeways as much as possible.

Everything is packed, and I'm filling up my water jugs with filtered water. Tonight's stop is supposed to have wifi, so I will have the internet for a couple of days and then probably be out of range for a week or so.

Hasta luego San Antonio, K, W, S, Alice, Dinah, and Bess, the best puppy ever. Gracias por todo.

Progress in a forward direction

2009-04-22T23:25:00.004-05:00

Productive, if exhausting day.

Hot weather and I don't agree.

Funny for someone who loves the desert as much as I do.

I just like cool deserts.

Replaced the plug from the trailer to the car. Took way more effort than it should have. But it works.

Acquired an electrical access door that should work as a small baggage door on the trailer, big enough to grab a can of soup through it.

Desanded and repacked the car. Tomorrow the trailer.

The hottest day so far. Where are my mountains?

Tomorrow I'm off to Austin to pick up a shade awning at REI (Austin is the closest REI) and make a day trip to Pedernales State Park (a magical place).

And in other news, my traveling companion feels at home in San Antonio, and will be staying here when I move on in a few days. I will miss him, but am also excited at continuing my adventure on my own. It feels like the trip is beginning all over again. I am grateful beyond words for his presence and gentle assistance these past 6 months in wrapping up my past life and getting me on the road. He is my spirit brother for all time, and I am privileged to have him in my life.

Photo Walk in Eisenhower Park

2009-04-21T21:57:00.002-05:00

A day of flowering prickly pear:

(click the slideshow to see larger versions at picasaweb)

Another Constructive Day

2009-04-20T22:16:00.003-05:00

Today I built a set of custom shelves for Susan's gallery. And forgot to take pictures. Maybe in a few days. Lazed about the rest of the afternoon and evening practicing drawing and drinking berry smoothies. mmm.

It's way too easy to hang out here. Time to hit the road soon.

The Dog Days of Spring

2009-04-19T21:26:00.004-05:00

I watch entirely too much TV when it is readily available.

I did install the dog door today. Dinah and Alice are old hands paws at it and adapted immediately.

Bess was dubious. She pawed at it tentatively, sat down and whimpered. With much coaxing (verbal and gustatory) and a hand to hold open the flap she went through, but it took most of the day for her to finally come through on her own. The last straw was seeing KJ tossing the ball for Dinah in the backyard. Whatever it takes...

Wet

2009-04-17T21:58:00.003-05:00

Buckets of rain

on a cool tin roof

My car is very clean now

Once again, I am the bringer of rain.

Had a Skype date with my sweet boy S

my faux-nephew

the three-year-old little dictator

and reminder

of all that is good

Another day of rest

2009-04-16T22:29:00.004-05:00

It rained today so I don't have to wash the car.

Caught up on blogging,

went to the Texas Pastel Society show

where a painting of KJ won first prize in portraiture.

Congratulations, Susan!

An evening of Bones, and CSI doing a Star Trek episode - bliss.

Day of Rest

2009-04-15T13:31:00.002-05:00

rested

read

caught up on TV shows

- Castle, Bones, Fringe -

(Hulu is the greatest)

Got new glasses - they're red!

Gifts from the sea

2009-04-14T13:09:00.000-05:00

This morning the tide gifted us with much bracken

and many jellyfish.

No swimming today. (They sting.)

How's that for a tentacle?

We've had our fill

of the wind and sea and sun

and sand

everywhere

(though never of beauty)

Back to the city

to finish installing the dog door for KJ

and make a few mods

to Alicia -

fix the plug

that I did not seat firmly

and dragged on the road

until a third of it was rubbed away,

add two more baggage doors -

so we don't have to lift the bed

to get at the food,

devise an awning

and rework the bed pad

again

On the beach

2009-04-13T20:41:00.003-05:00

We're out on the shore away from the campground

Texas beaches are considered roads

you can drive all 60 miles of beach down the island.

At 10mph, we drove 10.5 miles and stopped.

Far enough, I hoped, to be out of sight of others

staying the night

so I could swim naked in the sea.

And camping on the beach is free.

No bath but the ocean

no drinking water but what you bring

and all the dunes for a litter box

and still the constant wind.

Today the sun, at last, blistering.

We need an awning.

Sand gets in everywhere.

Sanderlings skitter along the shore

spending as much time chasing each other away as pursuing

the delicacies each wave reveals.

Crabs scuttle about, redigging their sand dens

every time the turtle patrol dune buggy

or another fisher truck bounces over them.

No sea turtles yet, though we keep hoping.

This day for the first time begins to feel like I imagined this trip would be

not driving

just being

thinking

sorting

ruminating

playing

exploring

drinking in the wonders

of the world

(even through my old spare glasses

that make me feel cross-eyed)

I haven't painted yet

too windy here

- my shade umbrella took off down the beach

acting as a sail skidding along the water

we had to run at top speed to chase it down

before Poseidon made off with that, too -

but I take pictures

all the time

and try to remember the names of all the new birds we learned

Of all the birds I have seen here

I could want to be a brown pelican

unlike the whites

they get to dive

for food, and fly in formation

in snaking rollercoaster patrols,

or hang out on their own

versatile

adventurous

graceful

Poseidon is a lousy boyfriend; or, How I lost my glasses at the beach

2009-04-12T12:26:00.013-05:00

Oh so seductive

with his pounding surf

and come-hither waves

Once you're in

he tries to rip your clothes off

then he steals your stuff

then he throws you out.

(Never turn your back upon a wave.)

Now I imagine him

riding along in his chariot

with my coolest glasses ever

perched upon his nose

*shrug*

I needed new ones anyway...

Tern, Tern, Tern

2009-04-11T22:09:00.006-05:00

We took the birding tour of Padre Island offered by two National Park volunteers, Mary and George.

We saw 49 species that morning, a respectable start on a life list.

(I think I just became a birder.)

Caspian Tern

Sandwich Tern

Royal Tern

Laughing Gulls that sound like hyenas

Ring-billed Gulls

the return of the pinkies (the Franklin Gull migration)

herons and egrets and shore birds abounding

a scissors-tailed flycatcher

even a broken UFO

(an unidentified floating object)

actually escape pods for the oil rigs

the tide brings in astonishing amounts of large junk

from hurricane debris

ships that sank

waves sweeping over bows

and general trash

the dump was full so they piled it here

for now

oh, and pelicans!

white and brown, a self-appointed shore patrol

looking for fish guts to recycle.

Windy Afternoon

2009-04-10T17:47:00.001-05:00

Later we nap, sunburnt, salty

then meet our chatty neighbors

their family and foreign exchange students

from Kyrgystan and Bangladesh

lend them a lighter for their stove

and try out KJ's stove with Mom's

propane tank - works great!

ramen and fresh broccoli and baby corn for dinner.

towels and clothes still not dry

though they hung all afternoon

in the constant wind

the wet salt wind

that plumps my skin and curls my hair

wildly

into tendrils

worthy of Medusa.

This wind, it almost drowns out

the generators on the other side of -

the tent? the Alite, the trailer -

she needs a name, not a category

she is developing a personality.

The Jeep has a name - Norbert

our home needs a name too.

So we call her Alicia, with Spanish pronunciation,

our treehouse, our fort, our shelter from the mist.

The Ocean!

2009-04-10T13:15:00.008-05:00

Now I know

why horses pull

Poseidon's chariot

not dolphins

Dolphins are too smooth too sleek, slipping in and out of the water

moving between earth and sky with ease and grace

These cresting waves carve out the fabric

of space

countless hooves sculpt

the water

slash the air

flatten the earth

to make way for their God

they crash over me

trampling past and future to

sand and salt and spray

pounding eternity into one moment of

shock

and joy

I leap

to meet the wave and hang

suspended

between earth and air

entirely

at the mercy

of the sea

entirely

at rest

Padre Island National Seashore

2009-04-09T23:30:00.000-05:00

Late this morning

finally finished

the bed frame

the cut pads -

jettisoning one

because the tape split

and I don't want to deal with it now.

Cans of food squirreled away

inventoried

waiting for KJ to come home

and tell us where the stove is.

Late now, the office

will be closed

by the time we get there.

We leave anyway

down to Corpus Christi

following the signs.

The hut is closed

the gate is open

we turn into the first campground we see

Bird Island Basin

pull up next to an RV bigger

than some apartments

I've had.

Late night run to the outhouse

the brilliant full moon

spills enough light

to read by.

Repacking Redux

2009-04-08T21:50:00.004-05:00

New bin has been acquired

and too much food

the spare trailer tire

fits nicely under

the propane tank

the latest repacking is close to done

I got too much sun today

and Padre Island beckons

tomorrow

Artful

2009-04-07T23:09:00.003-05:00

Finished the decklet railing, and went to two museums today. (It was free day for both).

We walked into the San Antonio Museum of Art and there was an organ concert going on - so we got to hear the Bach Toccata and Fugue and Liszt's variations on the notes B-A-C-H (H is B natural, as it turns out; B is B-flat). Gorgeous.

And then lots of large scale contemporary paintings including some giant botanical paintings that redefine the genre, and a lot of contemporary Latin American paintings that I adored. My brain is full.

Really tired now.

Drilling for snake oil

2009-04-06T20:39:00.003-05:00

I almost bought a gallon of emu oil today.

Reason prevailed, and I only ordered 4oz.

Drilled three holes in the tongue of the trailer so I could attach the hitch platform. My cordless drill performed admirably with the aid of a new 7/16" titanium drill bit and a great deal of water.

Also applied rust converter to various spots on the car, sanded the new boards for the beds in the trailer, and (gulp) cut the double giant thermarest in half and taped the edge with Gorilla Tape to seal it, to make two separate pads.

Pix and further explanations tomorrow. Star Trek is on.

Sunday Culture

2009-04-05T19:33:00.012-05:00

Free Day at the McNay

Art for the masses

towering spindly cypresses

Monet

sunprints

stairway to friendship

courtyard of dreams

electric medusa

faces of women in stone

in clay

in paint

an unknown flower

(more pix in this slideshow)

an excursion to the San Antonio Art League to see

a friend win an award for this painting

and two dozen more free sf books loaded into my iPhone...

a very fine day.

One in Tamillian

2009-04-04T20:52:00.002-05:00

Where did the day go?

sleeping late to make up

for the hours of heartburn

in the middle of the night

after ingesting an entire

batch of brownie mix

(SO much better unbaked...)

then hours spent with head in internets

searching out the history

of the Tamils

in Southern India

fascinating

must find more

sidetracked into ogg

and Safari's refusal to play

the sound files for the tutorials I found

*grr*

so courtesy of Amazon

Learn Tamil in 30 Days is on its way here

(I love the internet)

A constructive day

2009-04-03T19:23:00.005-05:00

KJ now has most of a new back decklet and stairs, the first step to making the dog door a reality. I ran out of screws, and still need to trim the side and figure out the railing. With some coaxing (bacon treats) the dogs were persuaded that this was an acceptable way of getting into the backyard. Bess promptly ate my carpenters pencil. It's a good thing for her she's so adorable.

Construction with dogs is a balancing act.

Throw the ball

drill some holes

throw the ball

set some screws

shut them in the house

cut some wood

with the borrowed circular saw

(I knew I should have brought mine)

at least I have my drill

I can't imagine life

even on the road

without a cordless drill

Is a rose by any other name cultural appropriation?

2009-04-02T21:00:00.006-05:00

I've been reading and thinking a lot about cultural appropriation lately, kicked off in particular by the - phenomenon? series of unfortunate events? interesting and ultimately productive discussion despite many derailments? - known as Racefail '09 over the last few months. Came across this article related to the Burning Man festival, an event I have considered attending. Much food for thought here.

Only in the last few days have I realized level of cultural appropriation involved in my name, my last name in particular. Some 20 years ago when I was young, with a nascent feminist consciousness, a desire to separate myself from my past and my family, and a longstanding interest in ancient religions and a new interest in ancient goddesses in particular, I decided to change my name. Partly to create a new persona to replace the self I thought could not survive, and partly because I did not want to wear my father's name. (My family understood my reasons; that's a whole other story, for another day.)

After much 'research' into books like The Dictionary of Goddesses and Heroines and The Women's Book of Myths and Secrets, I decided on the name I have now, Tanith Katja Korravai. (Hey, it was almost Maya Hekat).

Tanith was the sky goddess of ancient Carthage. I have always loved the sky, and as a Classics major, with a particular fondness for the story of Dido and Aeneas, I felt that the historical name of Dido's goddess (referred to as Juno in the Aeneid) fit more than any other. At the time, I was only aware of one other person named Tanith, the science fiction and fantasy author Tanith Lee. There are more now, including an Olympic ice dancer. The goddess Tanith (Tanit, Tanit pene Baal) has not been actively worshipped for upwards of 2 millennia to my knowledge, and I don't know of anyone who might be even vaguely offended by my use of it. (The brief summary of Carthaginian religion on Wikipedia is consistent with my knowledge from my long ago classical studies, for those who are interested.)

Katja is my mother's name.

Korravai is another story. At the time I found only one brief reference to her as a Dravidian warrior goddess. That's it. Pre-internet, finding information on obscure ancient goddesses was more difficult than now, and even with the resources of the UC Berkeley library available to me (via a friend who was actually enrolled; I was only ever a summer student there *sigh*; I loved that school...) I could find no other reference to her, not that I looked that hard. I wanted a name that was meaningful to me but obscure enough that no one else would be likely to have any associations with it. Korravai met those criteria and I liked the sound of it. And that was that.

Until the concept of cultural appropriation came into my consciousness and I started thinking about my name. Unlike Tanith, I know nothing about the goddess Korravai or the culture in which she was significant. That now feels disrespectful, and thanks to the internet, I can begin to remedy this ignorance. (I've worn this name for over 25 years now, and I feel no desire to change it; if it actively offended anyone I know I'd consider it, but none of the (East) Indian people I've known have ever heard of the name. Then again, I've never been to Southern India, so I have no idea how Korravai figures in contemporary Indian culture, if at all.)

Over the next year I will track down all the information I can reasonably access on the history and culture of the people who worshipped Korravai, her stories and their connections to other myths. It seems the least I can do to honor the goddess and her people for the meaning I've taken from that name for all of my adult life.

Script Frenzy

2009-04-01T22:59:00.004-05:00

The Office of Letters and Light, who brings us the glorious madness known as NaNoWriMo each November, also gives rise to the dramatic equivalent Script Frenzy in the month of April.

Which I have decided to try for the first time. So I am writing a screenplay. It is based on a vignette that I came up with a while back that still sticks in my mind, called The Hairbrush, though I don't know where it is going yet. But there seem to be aliens involved. Stay tuned.

NaBloPoMo

2009-04-01T14:54:00.006-05:00

KJ just told me about NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month.

All you have to do is post every day for a month. Maybe that will help keep me on track... anyone care to join me? Even if it does sound like mushy fruit...

Dreams of Productivity

2009-03-31T17:20:00.002-05:00

We had noble dreams

of productivity today.

Hours of internet

followed by an excursion

for protein -

a fabulous lunch

hours of TV

and fudge.

Maybe tomorrow...

ETA: managed to fill in some past blog entries;

productivity after all.

The Exhaustion of the Unfamiliar

2009-03-24T14:56:00.003-05:00

Day after day

working out the details

how to set up the trailer

where do we sleep tonight

how to put away the bed

puppies!

too late to register and the gate's locked

how to work the Jetboil

where's the rain poncho?

why is the food out of reach

the bandaids are buried too deep

where's my toothbrush

no signal here

where do we go next

what's for lunch

oo, shiny!

eyes dazzled with cave treasures

textured landscapes

wind rain thunder

tired now

naming it -

The Exhaustion of the Unfamiliar -

helps some

In Search of Coolth

2009-03-18T18:18:00.004-05:00

Today I installed two new ceiling fans for KJ,

replacing the old tired ones.

Air moves!

We took the three hellhounds

to the dog park.

Now one of them is sick

all over the floor.

*sigh*

Tomorrow we depart to claim the trailer!

3am, 4am, 5am Bark

2009-03-17T09:46:00.009-05:00

These three dogs

raising cain in a stunted chorus

at the smell of garbage

next door

Ancient Alice Walker Hound in tenor bay

the deep bass thunder

of doe-eyed Dinah, the yellow labasaurus

against whom the alto wiggle and whine of Bess

contend in vain

only missing

the yapping soprano of a rabid lapdog

nipping at my ribs

no, I do not miss her

Home

2009-03-16T20:44:00.010-05:00

Apparently I miss owning a home. So I am about to buy a tiny trailer.

From Alite

A really tiny trailer. The size of a queen-size bed, on wheels. With storage. And a skylight. I'm picking it up later this week, so it isn't quite real, but I have been observed to randomly hop up and down, squealing.

This may shorten the trip by the amount of money it cost, but it opens up more options of where to sleep. Certain big box stores allow overnight parking for RVs, which gives us a way to sleep free in cities, not just in backcountry National Park sites. And we can feel a bit more secure in bear country.

Alaska or bust!

Three Weeks After The Sprain

2009-03-11T21:58:00.004-05:00

By dint of ignoring

the habit of limping

I squeezed the swelling

from the bottom of my foot

to the top

Now I can walk

stride across the swamps and deserts -

I missed my foot

(Crossing the mountains on crutches

would have been a pain)

though

I would have crawled naked

over broken glass

to make this journey

had it been required

of me

Five states in one day, Part 4: Mississippi

2009-03-08T22:46:00.006-05:00

thrills of the day:

a tulip tree in bloom
at the welcome center
green everywhere
little purple flowers in the grass
bugs on the headlights and windscreen
my first mosquito bites
(this thrill will wear off soon...)

the rest areas say
24 hr Security Provided
or
No Security Provided
I've never seen this
up North.

a few hours in Jackson
with my cousin

her funky bottle tree

and her menagerie:

Mocha

Fuzzy

Grace the demon cat

Cocoa

and on to Baton Rouge

Five states in one day, Part 3: Tennessee

2009-03-08T22:45:00.004-05:00

Friendly pups and bamboo

in Fuller St. Park near Memphis
2 silent hounds with
liquid eyes
warm tongues
wagging butts
wreathing around our legs
as we dig lunch out of the bin
swathed in blue tarp
and camo tie-downs.
Some rethinking needed here.

Things we still need or need to move:
Sanitizer in glove box (for bare feet in car)
Pillbox for digestive enzymes in belt pouch
Umbrellas
Maglite (old one leaked)
Knob for monopod
Iron on patch for vest
Sm paint brushes
Acrylic retarder
Water bottles
Rubber/leather mallet

Five states in one day, Part 2: Missouri

2009-03-08T22:40:00.003-05:00

The bridge from Illinois into Missouri
pale blue turquoise
graceful crossed arches and braces
a temple, a gateway
soaring above
offering benediction.

no photo, alas;
it came upon us by surprise
and I don't shoot and drive

Lurid green
covers the fields
like spilled paint

Trees broken and flattened by recent wind
In moments of sun between the cloudbursts
We bask, lizards in the front seat.
Gusts play with the car
It begins to seem real.

We trade stories of long ago,
Childhood memories of Stuckey’s
On trips to visit the grandparents
In Indiana
Hauling a car over the mountains in this Jeep,
How I met KJ, whom we will see soon in San Antonio.

Five states in one day, Part 1: Illinois

2009-03-08T22:38:00.001-05:00

Unwinding the spiral.

I rolled over my first car

in Rockford 19 years ago -

just passing through now.

homeless hitchhikers along the highway

already

couldn't give them a ride

even if I wanted to

(which I don't)

I removed the backseat

to make more room for stuff

too much stuff

It's not real yet

too many trips between

Mpls and Mequon lately.

this feels like just one more.

Random city names

Coffeeville

Rend Lake

Lick Creek

Ina

Yazoo City

The strains of

Once More with Feeling

Into the Woods

and my dance playlist

keep us awake

this sterile white cell

of a Motel 6 in Marion IL

cinder block walls

stark shiny paint

even on the ceiling

no art, but there are beds,

though not the cleanest,

and we can be flat.